Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Kicking Off With Boston... Or London For That Matter

Not that I ran them... But like if I did. Boston with my heart and bets on Ryan; London with my heart and bets on Petra. Amazing races both of them. Ryan got me jumping out of my chair during the last 10K. He did awesome and his press conference said it all. He inspires me as he always does, with his beautiful smile, and typical humbleness. He always sees a lesson to be learned, and improvement to work on. About Kara, I won't comment.

Then it came London. Though I couldn't follow Petra's race, her report caused me goose bumps. Wow, what a race she had. And she gave me so much fuel, that put me to think. And as she is more real to me than Ryan, I can follow her steps, or at least try...

With the odd year I've had, my plans are totally unclear. My body is in GBIS (Getting Back In Shape) mode. My beautiful daughter was reminding me that I have nothing to be concerned as it takes three times longer to lose what we have gained, so, I will be back in shape pretty soon. I promised that to myself. Slowly but surely. Slow to accumulate mileage - last week I logged only 5.2 miles in three runs - and slow to get speed - the first day, my pace was above 13min/mile for a short distance of 1.6 miles. But I gave grace to myself, dumb of me if I didn't. This week will be better, and so next week, and so on...

Speed will be my first shot, then distance. Planning on short local races as much as I can, meanwhile I prepare a marathon strategy. Not sure if to run a marathon this year or just prepare for Donna's in February 2010. If I run one this year, it may be Portland in October as it's close enough from home. Not sure if continuing training with Furman, or moving with Pfitz. Waiting for Petra's advice.

I am excited to be back and running. I am kicking off my year. Kicking Off With Boston... Or London For That Matter!!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

A New Beginning

Traditionally Lent is about self-sacrifice. This Lent, the hardest I have ever lived had imposed sacrifices, rather. During this season, I started and completed my cancer radiation treatment, and day after day I've mourned Luis' passing. I wanted to yield to my grief, stop the world, not eat or drink, cry and sleep at my own desire, but the treatment didn't let me. It required me as healthy as I could be. I needed to eat well, to be hydrated, and to rest and sleep properly. Though it was extremely difficult, I had to endure.

My days were all the same. Get up at 4 am, be at work at 4:45, work until noon, pick up my mom at 12:30 pm, go to the Hospital, receive my treatment at 1:20, come back home at 2:00, work for another hour to complete my 8 hours, take a shower, put creams for the burned skin, watch with my mom Food Network for 2 hours, have dinner, go to bed at 7pm. Day after day during seven weeks. The weekends were quiet.

Social withdrawal, no blogging, no facebook, no emails, no phone calls. No running. And believe it or not, I found solace in my own isolation.

Lent is over and gave way to Easter, the foundation of Christian's faith. A time where death and life intertwines to give meaning to a new life, to A New Beginning.

Last Monday my radiation treatment was over and gave way to a new beginning as a cancer survivor. My husband was laid-off, though bad news, good news. California is over, and we have a new beginning. We are together again after two and a half years of being apart and seeing each other every now and then. And on this Holy Night, on this Easter Vigil, Luis has two months that left this world. And because on Easter death gives way to life, I know Luis is also living a new beginning.

Too many parallels between this lent and the sacrifices, and Easter and my new life ahead. This is the time I have chosen for my new beginning. Mourning will never end, but it will morph. Unanswered questions will continue flowing to give room to acceptance. I'll never understand it, but, I am faithful to my beliefs, His Kingdom is not of this world, and His Kingdom was promised to us. He conquered death and He lives forever. Though beyond our terrestrial comprehension, I pray for Luis enjoyment of the Kingdom of Heaven and an eternal life.

This is A New Beginning.

Happy Easter!

Felices Pascuas de Resurrección!

At the Hospital, with my mom the last day of radiation treatment. Infinite thanks to her who went with me every day during seven weeks.

Celebrating this week the last day of radiation treatment with hubby, son Diego and my mom.