I didn't know how desperate I was, until 4 weeks have passed.
The very day after Eugene marathon, my left knee started to hurt again on the bone bruise spot as it did the day after the injury. The reality check advised to back off for a month or two. I got my marathon, I enjoyed it, I PRd, and now is time to heal.
Traveling after the marathon for biz to Wichita helped me forget that I couldn't, shouldn't run. From my hotel, I saw the running path along the Arkansas River, and I ran along in my mind. We drove to Wellington in an infinite straight highway, and I ran along that road, in my mind too. That's all I could do.
Then I had to travel to Italy also for biz. My hotel located at the shore of Naples Bay let me enjoyed from my balcony all the runs of non-injured runners.
Four weeks have passed, and I am not in a better place. My bone bruise still hurt (I've found a way to check: sitting on a chair and getting up putting all my weight on the left knee, then, I feel it). My ITB, also in my left leg, started bothering before Italy.
I am having physical therapy 2-3 times a week hoping the healing process moves faster. I got one session last Wednesday for my ITB where I almost passed out. That intense it was. Today I had deep tissue intervention also for the ITB and it hurt a lot. All this for a happy ending. The therapist today recommended Graston Therapy, which breaks down and releases the scar tissue. I may start this therapy next week.
My Rock&Roll is in a month and I may not race it, but what does "I may" mean? I haven't run for a month, and I should not run now... "I may not race it" should mean "I am not racing it". $107.00, sunk cost, so be it.
My Race for the Cure is in a week, and I may decide to walk it with my son and survivors I met last year. "I may decide to walk it" translates "I must walk it". Trying to find the benefits of that. Timing in running has become my focus, goal, and obsession, and this injury and the possibility of non-running may have taught me a lesson (may). Walk and cheer for life, see the life that I have gotten from another perspective. 5k of walking is something to be proud of, especially, when I will do it with other survivors and my son. That companion of mine, that young man that is there for me in every race he can possibly be.
Despite of this, and all that cheering and positive thoughts, I need to go back to running. I am waiting for the right moment as I have NY in November, and I know it's better to wait now than to start my training injured.
I am desperate for joining again my weekly races. I am desperate for logging miles. I am desperate for posting running related blogs. I am desperate for putting my running shoes on. I am desperate for moving and feel the wind on my face. I am simply desperate. I am a Desperate Runwife.
3 comments:
Oh my darling I had no idea that this bone bruise was still SUCH a problem! I can't believe it - especially after your victory in Eugene!
It sounds though like you are doing what you can, physio-wise. Is there any cross training you're willing / able to do? Swimming? Aqua jogging? Biking? Anything to keep the crazies away?
Oh I KNOW this frustration - in 2008 it took me 3/4 months of this rubbish to get back on the road. All I can say is keep the determination to get back on the road and you will. And yes do walk the race. It is not the same but better than not doing it.
Big fat hug Lizzie Lee..
Oh Lizzie I am so sorry you are feeling it with your lack of running. I know it's no consolation, but it's really is the only way you will get better - patience and physical therapy.
I think walking the run for the cure is a great idea - not only will you get some air in your lungs but you'll also be around so many that have bigger fish to fry than a running injury. That's how I always get myself back on the 'grateful' track when I'm feeling down or bummed or just regular old grumpy.
Hang in there....you WILL be back. ♥
Ugh, bone bruises can take so long to heal too, from my experiences (although they were not on the knee). But in the big scheme of things, one race missed is nothing. There'll always be plenty more, for sure. Good for you walking the 5K Race for the Cure. I know that race means a lot to you!
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